2.0 - Fantafabulous

Dusk: 'I've only been pregnant since the end of the last chapter? How did this happen?! OH MY GOD IT HURTS AS BAD AS I THOUGHT IT WOULD.'

Everyone: *WACKY WAVING INFLATABLE ARM FLAILING TUBE MAN TIME*

Post-girl: 'Post girls gotta post.'

Swaggest post-girl ever.

Fabian: 'DUDE OH, WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO A PAVEMENT. NOT COOL MAN. NOT COOL.'

Dusk: 'C'mon, Moses. If you're not going to lovingly serenade me while I scream and agony, at least escort me to the hospital.'

Moses: 'YES YES OF COURSE MY DEAR.' *struggles to keep up with heavily pregnant woman*

Fabian: 'Hooray for my retirement!'

Oh yeah. He got his LTW, which was Creature-Robot Crossbreeder, in case you don't remember.

Dusk: 'No one cares, Dad. Go back and talk to your garden or something.'

Moses: *runs into wall*

Dusk: 'Ugh, what is he doing. Can't believe I married that guy. Didn't throw me a baby shower or anything.'

That's because baby showers aren't an optional party. Should really though, how cute would that be?

Fabian: *lonely self-applause*

'Fine, let me have the baby in the front yard for all the high school to s- OH GOD, I'M GIVING BIRTH TO A TEEN VAMPIRE.'

'Oh, never mind. She's Moses' after all.'

This is Crush. Crush was named after the R.E.M. song, 'Orange Crush', in line with Dusk's LTW. I'll leave its gender open to interpretation for now.

'Like, daughter. You're not fat anymore!'

'Uh yeah, Dad. I just dropped a baby.'

'Oh yeah dude, I have so many photos already! Man, I love being a grandfather.'

'Dad, you do know that Phoenix has a daughter named Toni, right? And those aren't your grandchildren. You forgot to take out the default images when you bought that wallet.'

'Well, like, whatever you say, Miss Smartypants. I just wanted to let you know that I'm like, way proud of you for finding a nice guy and giving your old man some grandbabies. I just love them sprouts so bad.'

'Aww, no problem Dad.'

'But come to think of it, Dad, why DID you and Mum never get married? You've been together all these years and had three kids, and she's still Anais Wilheim?'

'So like, well...'

'When you get to our age, you'll understand...'

'Lol, we never really thought about it.'

'But Daddy! Don't you want to get married, and see Mum in a pretty dress?'

'I don't know dude, your Mum's had some pretty intense sag going on lately-'

'Dad!'

'Like yeah, of course I do, sweetie.'



'Well Daddy, I'm asking you this, because really. Don't you think it would be nice to do something for her before you uh, go...?'

'Go? Go where?'

'Oh come on. You're what, about to hit 90? And she's still in her seventies. Come on Dad.'

'Oh... I get it.'



'So uh, what do I have to do. To like, get my wife on and stuff?'



'You just flip out a lens flare, and I'll take care of the rest.'



'Thanks sweetie. If I can't make this family respectable, you sure can.'

'I really appreciate this, Daddy. I promise to strive in making this family socially acceptable.'

'That's my little girl.'

If I'm not mistaken, that sound-effect was... hey, Fabian. What the ever-loving fuck are you doing?!

'Dude, this a science experiment. Obviously.'

Obviously. The 'experiment' apparently worked, and now the fridge glows and gives moodlets. Sweet.

I should probably mention this ability is from Fabian's fulfilling his LTW, and then getting promoted to Mad Scientist, if I haven't already.

And in other Fantatabulous news, Crush is having a birthday.

Clone, down to a t. Sigh.

I would just here like to point out Dusk's genetic awesomeness. She has Fabian's lips and eyes, and Anais' nose, face shape, and hair colour. Her eyes are a mystery. WHY CAN'T ALL MY SIM BABIES FOLLOW THIS EXAMPLE?

And oh snap, red door. :/

In other orange news... oh God, I recognise this change in lighting...

'Science, kids. Don't like, try it at home.'

HIPPIES SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO PLAY WITH MATCHES.

'OH DUDE BAD TRIP, REALLY BAD TRIP. OH MAN I AM GOING TO KILL THE GUY WHO SOLD ME THIS STUFF.'

'Hello, hello? Is anyone in here? Can I contribute to this raging inferno in any way with MY Unlucky trait?'

Useless Firetool #1: 'Not any more than I can't.' :D

'Uh, Mr. Fireman, I kinda got this strong feeling in my... internal organs, that just the two of you aren't enough for this fire. Don't you need, uh, reinforcements?'

Useless Firetool #2: 'Oh man, you bet we are going to need reinforcements...'

'Because someone's ass is just BURNING DOWN THE HOUSE.'

Moses: 'OH GOD I DIDN'T KNOW THIS WAS A GAY BAR I'M SORRY I'M SORRY.'

'But on the plus side... I'm alive! I'm really alive!'

'Hooray for you, sweetheart! I'm glad you're alive too.'

'Yeah, big-ups to the pimpdaddy in the red for scoring such a HOT-DAMN MOMMA.' *innapropriate thrusting*

'So uh, Elvira. If you can't seem from my skill bar, I'm sort of fame-whoring for my job at the moment.'

'But uh, I also had a sort of near-death experience lately, and I sort of have a favour to ask you...'

'Shoot, man. You've got nothing to lose. Just don't piss me off, or I'll tear into your jugular.'

'BITE ME?'

'Seriously, man? I swear you just used a line straight out of a teen romance novel. I'm embarrassed for you. And also kind of pissed off.'

'So tear into my jugular?'

'Jesus! Don't look so desperate. This is kind of making me uncomfortable.'

Moses: *puppy face*

'Oh, what the hey.'

'You asked for it, kid. Here, give me your arm.'

Moses: :D

'Alright, you ready for the ride of your life, boy?'

That is probably the scariest thing I have seen in TS3.

Okay, forget it. This face completely negates the previous image.

'THAT'S RIGHT BOY, DERP UNTIL IT DOESN'T HURT ANYMORE.'

'Okay, all done.'

JEEZUS PUT YOUR TONGUE AWAY ELVIRA.

'Huh. I wonder what Moses is up to at the moment? There are all sorts of scary things in this city, I hope he's okay.'

I took this photo because PIDGEONS. And oh yeah, Dusk is pregnant again.

And I took this photo because CAR.

I think it's from a promotional download I found on SimsVip. I bought it for Fabian because it's supposedly eco-friendly, and definitely cute.

Fabian: 'Babe, you haven't taken that nightie off in three days. What's say we get you outta that thing, and onto the town for the night?'

Anais: 'Yeah, why not. House smells of pot anyway, be good to have a breath of fresh air.'

'Aww right, there's my girl.'

'But uh, dear. We might wanna stop off at the hospital first thing.'

'Huh? Gonna be pissed if this damn catheter is leaking again. Hehe. Pissed.'

'No, Fabian, you're going to need a shoulder replacement.'

'Dude. Knew all those years of hardcore gardening were gonna catch up with me.'

They ended up having to take the ambulance, anyway. But it was cool, because they got a free ride...

...To a local karaoke bar, which in a town chock full of nightclubs and raves, I had decided to plop down.

Anais: 'Hey you! I thought the thing with Britney was a one-off! Go home to your Kpop toyboy and stupidly-named son. And YOU! Why aren't you behind the bar? I want alcohol in me NOW!'

Lola and Bartender Chick: *remain oblivious*

Anais: 'Whatever, you guys stink.' *fart*

And then, Fabian and Anais had a turn. And naturally, they stunk.

But it was cute, anyway.

Anais: 'Fabian, I'm not so sure of this. It smells of pee and dried blood in here...'

Fabian: 'I don't know, babe. I just thought it might help us feel young again.'

Anais: 'Oh wait, I'm a slob. What do I care?'

Anais: 'Come 'ere, you old Charlie Manson...'

Fabian: 'You're not gonna like, call out his name or anything during this, are you?'

Everyone: 'IT SMELLS LIKE OLD PEOPLE SEX IN HERE.'

Ok, I know elevators aren't the best place for keeping personal space, but I don't think I've ever been impaled by someone's boob. :/

Dusk: 'I'D LIKE TO INTERRUPT ALL THIS GROSS, WRINKLY COITUS TO ANNOUNCE THE IMPENDING BIRTH OF MY SECOND CHILD. IN FACT, I'M PRETTY SURE THAT'S WHAT TRIGGERED MY LABOUR.'

Oh uh, okay. This is excusable, because you're making a cute face :v

'Aww, your little face almost makes me forget all about old people woohoo.'

It's a boy! He's Insane and uh, something else. Two Insane-born children from two completely not-Insane parents. None of their grandparents have it either. This trait is never going to leave me alone.

Dusk: 'You didn't tell us his name. I sort of have a bad feeling about this...'

Um, yeah. So I was trying to think of something orange that related to Moses' LTW of Superstar Actor. I got nothing, excepting maybe Nemo, which isn't really to do with acting, and a name I'm pretty sure has already been used in a Rainbowcy.

And then I remembered.

About the Jersey Shore.

And all the horror came flooding back in. AND I HAD A FLASH OF BRILLIANCE and named the child Snooki.

Dusk: 'I'm sorry... my baby boy is named WHAT?'

Um.

Have some old people woohoo!

Fabian: 'Marry me, babe!'

Anais: 'Oh Fabian!'

Fabian: 'Will you let me take you, in like, all your incontinence, to be my radically wedded wife?'

Anais: 'Oh, of course I will, you stupid hippie!'

Fabian: 'Daughter, I did it! I totally did it!'

Dusk: 'Hmm?'

Fabian: 'I put a ring on it, like you said. Your Mum and I are gonna be radically wedded!'

Dusk: 'Daddy? Really?'

Fabian:'Absolutely! We're gonna have the full deal, even like, wedding bells and shit. Isn't this awesome?'

Dusk: 'Congratulations Daddy!'

Fabian: 'Sweetie, I'm just so like, high right now. And not even the Alice in Wonderland kind. Just high off life, man.'

Dusk: 'Aw, Dad. I'm so proud of you. Now you just let me worry about everything else.'

LATER THAT NIGHT:

Dusk: 'Moses, are you okay? You've been acting sort of strange lately. It's been worrying me.'

Moses: 'Now uh, Dusk. Don't worry. I've just uh, been stressed out from work lately. It's hard being 3rd Tree, you know.'

Dusk: 'Oh Moses, you're not going to leave me for 1st Tree, are you? I know little old, fameless me can't light a candle to someone with the role of 1st Tree.'

Moses: 'Now uh, Dusk. 1st Tree is a very nice woman, but I have uh, a lovely wife and two kids, which I wouldn't trade for the world.'

Dusk: 'One of which is called Snooki.' :/

Moses: 'Well uh, let's not think about that right now. I'm sure we can make a better one, right?'

Dusk: 'RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW.'

Dream on, guys, Park bench isn't an available woohoo spot. Yet.

Oh yeah, where were we.

A white wedding. Ah yes, if Fabian could drop the Charisma skill bar already, it would be perfect. Goddamn that thing is obnoxious.

Anais: 'Fabian, what the hell are you wearing? How am I supposed to get this ring over your stupid thick-ass science gloves? How is it that these things even come in rainbow?'

Fabian: 'Lay off babe, gotta pay tribute to the pH scale, don't I?'

Hey, that's actually a pretty good idea for a Rainbowcy. All the kids could be named after substances corresponding with the number. Someone sciencey do that, because I sure as hell am not.

'Can someone close the fourth wall? Trying to like, get married to my girl here. Here, give me that pretty little hand.'

'Oh Fabian. I love you, you big, stupid dork.'

*suckface*

Moses: 'Urge to derp... rising.'

Well, it arrived in just enough time, to counter the steady descent into old people WooHoo.

'You uh, missed the one shot in my life that was sort of threatening.'

Aw, he's cute.