1.0 - Burn Baby Burn

A new chapter, hot of the the block from the last one - how 'bout it? We're on fire, quite literally.

'Ah. Beautiful mornings like these just make me want to...'

Stay inside and skill all day? Work on your LTW? Make Generation 2?

*fart*

'Nothing like it.'

Slob Sims. There's nothing like them.

I should probably have mentioned Fabian and Anais' traits.

Fabian: Loner, Loves the Outdoors, Green Thumb, Unlucky, Mooch

LTW: Creature-Robot Crossbreeder

Anais: Slob, Innapropriate, Friendly, Artistic, Bookworm

LTW: Illustrious Author

Fabian, I see you're up too.

'The sunrise, dude. Can't miss that sunrise.'

Ok. Now go to work.

'Sure thing, man. Just took some different stuff and now I'm totally psyched to meet all these sciencey dudes, man. Gonna freak some science dudes out with peace and love.'

WTF are you doing? Take that thing off!

'Naw, dude. I gotta go. Carpool's here.'

.__.

LATER THAT DAY:

'So babe, like, these nebulas. You've got to see 'em. You won't believe the shit these science guys at my work do, man. Totally got me psyched out about them.You've got to see these nebulas.'

'Eh... stargazing seems kind of lame. But if it makes you happy, I guess.'

'Aw, sweet!'

'So babe, um, these nebulas. How 'bout 'em?'

'Yeah... sure.'

She's getting bored. Come on Fabs, make your move!'

'But like, dude. Her ringing butt is just making this so awkward, man.'

Point.

'Ahh, sorry about that babe. Some dumb bitch at the bistro couldn't cook an autumn salad.'

'It's cool, babe. That shit has ruined more important shots than this.'

'Speaking of dumb bitches, guess who's been out and about with the town bike chick?'

'Who?'

'Stefan!'

'Dude! She has some nasty stuff. Nasty!'

'I'm so glad we're not townies. They really are a slutty bunch.'

That could have been you, Anais. Actually, it was there for a while.

'Only for a few hours!'

'Well, should we head in for the night? You've got work tomorrow.'

'Are you like, sure babe? Don't have like, anything else in mind?'

'Cause babe, don't get me wrong. I'm totally like, tuckered out and everything...'

'But...?'

'Like, I don't have a choice. I could be at like, death's door here, and she'd still click the WooHoo interaction.'

Yes, the WooHoo interaction.

'Well, can't say I object. Let's get down to it.'

Red Gen are GO!

'Sorry? What was that you said?'

Nothing, nothing. Keep doing what you're doing.

'Hey, babe. Good day at work?'

''S'okay. Loads of science guys there, dude. Kinda' overwhelm- hey uh, what's that?'

'Wow, babe uh. Grown yourself an egg there?'

'GOLLY GEE FABIAN, YOU SURE ARE CHARMING. I AM JUST SWEPT RIGHT OFF MY FEET HERE.'

'But uh, let me try and explain to you this in terms you'll understand.'

'Alright. You know what happens when you plant a seed, mm?'

'It like, germinates and starts growing man. All the way up to the sun.'

'Sure, sure.'

'So uh, you remember how we had WooHoo a couple of nights ago?'

'So do. Wicked stuff, dude.'

'The same thing with seed? It happened with you and me.'

'No way dude! You have like, a seed growing inside of you?'

'So like, our own little sprout?'

'Sprout, baby. Yeah.'

'Here, have a feel.'

'Really?'

'Dude, I can totally feel him.'

'It's our little Sprout, Anai!'

'Yeah, no. That's not an acceptable Red Gen name.'

'Good job on being fertile, babe.'

'Good job yourself, flower boy.'

'Owwwshit. Better make sure we don't eat off this thing again. Fabian? FABIAN?'

'Babe, I'll be out in the garden, with like, the trees. Be back soon.'

'GET BACK HERE YOU SPACEHEAD, THERE IS FREAKING GLITTER COMING OUT OF ME. THEY TOLD ME BIRTH WOULD BE HORRIBLE BUT NO TOLD ME ABOUT THE GLITTER OHGODOHGOD.'

Wait a minute there.

Fix'd.

'Aww, hi there.'

This is Phoenix. He is Phoenix because phoenixes are red. Or orange. Or yellow, for that matter. Also because I figured that's the kind of hippie name Fabian would want to give one of his kids. Phoens takes the best emo bits of both his parents to become an Artistic Loner.

And here we have the red-gen house, which was barely worth redecorating is it is.

Kitchen/living room/general everything room. Overkill, you say? Bitch, this is a rainbowcy, we are ALL about overkill. Especially when it comes to rainbows.

The bathroom, like you need to be told that.

Crappy Toilet: *ruins already crappy shot*

I swear Anais gets that thing dirty every time she goes near it.

And finally, Phoenix's room; complete with moar rainbows.

However, Fab and Anai's room has to stay crappy colours, because they are Neutral Gen and have to be boring.

'Science man, that science... ZZZ'

'What is going on, dude? I was like, dreaming about science. That science man, that science.'

Whatever you do, do NOT drop the baby, Fabian. I repeat, DO NOT DROP THAT BABY.

'Oh hey, you're the little sprout! Man, you're hungry. Have some of this green shit, makes everything better, dude.'

'Gotta have a name, little sprout. I'm sure Anai told me it. Oh that's right...'

'FLY PHOENIX, FLYYYY.'

'So baby, I know you must be kinda sore from like,  giving birth and stuff, but ... what would you say to a little nest buddy for Phoenix?'

'I don't know. WooHoo? Sure. But don't you think Phoenix is kind of a handful own his own?'

Tough titty, legacy wife. May as well enjoy one kid while it lasts.

'Babe, that's the thing. I can't. It's the next thing in my interaction queue. And we're like both in great moods, man.'

Yeah! That's the spirit!

'Well, you know what? Screw her. She wants a baby factory, she'll get a baby factory.'

I never said I wanted a baby factory D:! I am NOT going through that again.

'Tough titty, legacy lady.'

So, uh, Fabian. What'cha burning there?

'Oh, so like, Anai just rolled a wish for pancakes. So I was like "Hey, pancakes!". So yeah, pancakes."

'WOOP WOOP.'

At least he's enjoying himself.

'Heyy, uh. Something like, smells pretty funky in here...'

Your wife?

Oh God. I recognise this sudden change in lighting.

'What's going on, dude...'

'Oh dude, this makes me really need to pee.'

Then piss the thing out, you closet coward!

'What have you done...'

'Anai! Help! I'm like, way too high to work this thing, dude!'

'Snow! I've like, dreamed of this day since I was a little dude!'

'Oh for goodness sake, Fabian. Get your head together!' *stabs in leg*

'Dude, Anai. I would ask you to chill, but we really got a situation here.'

'OH JESUS FUCK, IT'S SPREADING. Where are those drop-outs that man the fire station?'

'That drop-out would be right her, ma'am. How can I help?'

'How can I help...'

'Uh, babe. I'm gonna like, break up your murderous thoughts - peace and love, man - but can you and that useless get your asses in gear, 'cause like, our 'lil Phoenix is going to go up in ashes if you don't.'

'Ma'am, I don't see how the fire department can be of help when you have a crying infant in the house.'

'Of course he's crying! His room is on fire, you dumbfucking idiot. Who hires you people!?'

'How about I go and check on your husband, Ma'am.'

'GODAMMIT HOW DID IT GET OVER HERE.'

'That can be explained very simply by the Leprechaun teleportation powers a Sims 3 fire is known to possess.'

'SHUT UP AND GO HOME ALREADY.'

'Dude, finally. God, I'm so hungry.'

'Ma'am, your infant appears to crying.'

'Fuck you. Seriously, just fuck you.'

'Hello.'

Boom. And we transition so hard, everyone gets ground shock.

'I can't express my true feelings about this event, as Scumbag DNA here decided my mouth should be perma-smile. Ah, cruel world.'

So this is our toddlerfied Phoenix, right here.

'Not even cuddles and snuggles truly warm my inside. While I express outward joy at the affection of a mother figure, I am immune to cuddles, and most especially to snuggles. Most especially.'

'And this man, I detest him. Not even for the sake of unreciprocated feelings, will I cooperate for him.'

'Dude, it's like, making noise. How do I deal?'

'However, there is one truth in this monotonal world.'

'It is the instrument, through which my true feelings and innermost of workings may be pervayed. Not that the malleable figures surrounding me, would comprehend such intricate matters.'

'But alas, we must be torn away again.'

'While my insight far surpasses them in every matter of the world, there is one such mortal art that I fail to understand.'

'That is of pooping. My physique simply does not allow for such  barbaric sport. And for what sake-'

'UGHH WOULD YOU QUIT NARRATING MY SON'S THOUGHTS AND REALISE THAT I AM IN LABOUR.'

Oh, right.

And Gryffindor, named for Anais' LTW, is conveniently born into the same red wrap in which I dressed Phoenix.

Phoens: 'This is blatant plagiarism.'

'Ma'am, your son is playing his instrument badly. I don't see how the fire department can be of help.'

Fuck you bitch. Fuck you and get out of my house and go die in hell.