The Hex Rainbowcy: 2.4 - Failure in the Family

Now... who is the smoking hot fajita, opening this much-overdue chapter?

TT: 'You lookin' at somethin'? 'Cos you better be.'

Dayum girl.

TT: 'You fine?'

You fine.

Her mother (who it should be noted, is also smoking hot consumable, but a chili pepper not a fajita because chili peppers are red) has just finished her L.T.W. by herself in the dark...

...and has moved onto her skill challenges, which will hopefully, not give her some form of brain cancer.

TT: 'Hey uh, Crush?'

Crush: 'Mm?'

TT: 'Why is it that this punk drivin' us around, never gets a DUI?'

Crush: 'Same reason so many people die from house fires around here, sister.'

TT: 'Ohh... eh.'

Greyfriars Bobby: 'I wait patiently for my master, whom was a student at this very school, until he took a bus to the head.'

GF: 'Alas, it seems I will suffer the same cruel fate. Goodbye, cruel world.'

GF: 'But before I go; one last butt sniff. And it will the greatest butt sniff of them all.'

;_;

Just kidding. He survived, and proceeded to run adorably down the street.

Dusk, however, was not so lucky.

Juliet: '...white people.'

Anonymous Boyband Member: 'BABY YOU LIGHT UP MY WORLD LIKE-'

Dusk: 'OH GOD OH GOD HOW DO I TURN IT OFF?!'

When in doubt, employ prepubescent scare tactics.

And yet, it cannot be said her husband was doing any better.

Moses: 'BOO HOO HOO, I'M STUCK IN A FLOWERBED.'

Second-dumbest vampire couple EVER.

Not wanting to disappoint his parents, Snooki then proceeds to soil himself in the kitchen .

Snooki: 'Is Mummy watching? Did she see?' *dislocates eyeball*

I hope you have all had your fill of failure for today.

TT: 'Hey, uh, Mum. What's with the dead guy on our table again?'

Dusk: 'Oh dear God, please don't say the gumball machine is broken again. I don't think I could take another broken appliance - why are your pants soaking wet, Snooki?!'

Snooki: 'Mama love me now?'

TT: 'Just uh, really losin' my appetite for bodily fluids over here.'

Crush: 'Leave it to me! With my absolute total of zero Handiness skill points, this'll be fixed in no time!' *pokes at random with screwdriver*

Snooki: 'Stop it sis! Your shitty DIY job is messing with the physical dimensions! Mum, tell her to stop. Mum?'

Crush: 'Shut up penisbreath, Mum is out workin' the clubs for money like she does every night, and there's nothing you can do to stop me messing with the realms of spacetime.'

Snooki: 'Mum...?'

Dusk: 'Ha, dis bitch.'

To be fair, she's playing guitar for money and skill challenges, but it's a pretty seedy place, because if this isn't one of the most perverted things I've seen in-game (or anywhere, really) then I don't know...

Reuben Littler: 'So baby, think we can induce labour?'

Can't say he's not determined, though. Crashing through a window and grabbing her crotch is how you do it, boys.

Fabian: 'So not cool, man. I fully disapprove of my grandson and his autonomous attempt to achieve something for himself in life.'

Snooki: 'Please Granddad, I really can't concentrate with you making angry ghost noises in my ear.'

Fabian: 'Boo! Down with homework, man! Save the trees! Capitalist scum!'

Snooki: 'Please, Granddad. I just want to graduate.'

Fabian: 'Dude, you wanna graduate? What'cha gonna do with a fancy diploma anyway? No one's like, gonna hire a kid called 'Snooki' anyway.'

Fabian: 'Whatever my daughter was smoking when she named you, I need to get some of it alone.'

Anais: 'Fabian, leave our stupid grandkids be. If he wants to do his homework, let him. Spares just don't learn, until they're living with nine other people, knocked up to the first old man they meet. It's all for naught.'

Fabian: 'Whatever, babe. I'm going to stand here and wave my crotch in his face because YODO.'

Anais: 'Yes, and it's for eternity, you old douchebag.'

Snooki: 'Granny! Hug?'

Anais: 'Ugh, get it off! Help me, Fabian.'

Fabian: 'See babe, this it what happens when you're nice to it.' *glides through wall*

Snooki: 'Hug...?'

Anais: 'Back I say, back!'

Snooki: 'Oh Granny, I still idolise you. I'm sorry if I annoyed you, I... I just wanted to hug you.'

Anais: 'It's okay son, we can both love me. Just you from a distance.'

TT: 'Hey uh, Crush. Who's this creeper you dragged in from the street and what's he doin' in your room? I don't like the look of that thought bubble, mister.'

Adoption Agent: 'Mm, yes. I'd cover you in spices, my pumpkin pie...'

TT: 'Yup, I'm outta here.'

Crush: 'TT! You'll never guess what's outside.'

TT: 'It's gotta be better than what you brought inside, sis.'

Adoption Agent: 'Hm, I'm alone in a young girl's room. Now... what to do?'

Crush: 'It's a cat.'

Cat: 'It's a cat, alright.'

This cat shall henceforth be known as Fuckiforgot until the next time I access this save file.

Crush: 'Now, to mark this cat as mine.'

Crush: 'My arms... my arms are out of control.'

Crush: 'THEY WON'T STOP DOING THIS.'

Crush: 'YOU MUST CALL AN AMBULANCE. OR, IF FAIL THAT... MY MUMMY.'

The next day, Crush called the adoption agent over again, begetting all creepiness in an attempt to cure the endless void within her, of which could only be filled by cats and more cats.

Moses: 'Hello, um, didn't we meet yesterday when you were um, sniffing my daughter's underwear?'

Adoption Agent: 'Yep. You should probably know that she's trading sexual favours for cats.'

Moses: 'G-good to meet you.'

This cat is... Fuckiforgot 2.0.

Cat: 'Seriously?'

Yes. And she will bring us little red cat bbies.

See. They are getting on so well already.

Fuckiforgot 2.0: *bitch slap*

Dusk: 'Snooki, I don't want to hear your excuses. If I'm not burning out here, it's too late for you to be out. Goodness knows what you've been doing at these hours.'

Snooki: 'I just stayed behind to play hopscotch with some six-year-olds. They were nice to me.' ;_;

Dusk: 'Get out of my sight.'